I saw this guy the other day;
He had a top hat on.
I didn't know what to say
And the light was almost gone.

He carried a silver cane
And he was just a little scary
But I wanted to know his name.
Could it be Harry?

Oh, Top Hat Guy!
Why did you pass me by?
I'd let you spank me with your cane
If you'd tell me, what's your name?
Top Hat Guy,
I think that I
Could fall in love with you.

I see the Top Hat Guy again today
In the early light of dawn
As I am on my knees to pray
I see him through my window, standing on the lawn.

He moves quickly down the lane
But I run out after him, in my robe made of terry.
Top Hat Guy, do you feel no shame?
Or does my frustration make you merry?

Oh, Top Hat Guy!
Why do you pass me by?
I'll let you spank me with your cane
If you tell me, what's your name?
Top Hat Guy,
I think that I
Am falling in love with you.

I hope I see the Top Hat Guy again someday
And I don't mean to fawn
But if he should ever come my way
I'd take him to Red Lobster for a meal of prawn.

To keep him near I'll hold his long black mane
And get him drunk on sherry.
I'll keep him hostage until he is very tame.
And then it is he whom I shall marry.

Oh, Top Hat Guy!
I won't let you pass me by.
Come here and spank me with your cane.
It matters not, your name.
Top Hat Guy,
I know that I
Am in love with you.